Me, after working out several days in a row: "Why would I ever NOT work out?"
Me, after one day of rest: "Why would anyone work out EVER?"

If you’ve ever been to an open-mic: Men are not funny…. No-one is funny! …”I’m on tinder! I’m white! My dick, something…” I’m so bored by white male comics, when they get on stage and they’re like, buttoned-down shirt, they love Louis CK, they have a beard… They’re like “Oh yeah, Louis CK said some great things about feminism”. You know who else said something great about feminism? Tons of women throughout history. Any woman who you’re not even listening to because you have to hear it from some bald guy.